Category Archives: Men And Women

We need each other.

Intellectual Intimacy

What do you want? Really?

 

The moments you think you are vulnerable you are not. When you know what you want and it is a manifestation of your self-respect you have nothing to lose but time. It is time, knowledge and communication that must be of utmost significance. I refuse to use the word “value”, because value implies worth like trinkets or a product. The relationship between a man and woman is not an exchange of something you can touch, grasp or control. We think we are in love all the time when we are young, but we know the truth. We learn to embrace disappointment in others, but sadly the problem is not setting a standard for ourselves of not accepting less than we deserve.

To get back from a relationship what you have put into it. To get back from a relationship no less than what we put into ourselves intellectually, spiritually and holistically. We are on the edge of paradigm where there is no room for potential. I ask again what do you really want? Really? Are you prepared for what you want? You need ask yourself are you likable? The world has got so simple, aesthetics beyond the eyes is what we look for and look at. To have a conversation with a potential significant other you need know what color are their eyes. We have always been told men can’t change or women can’t change. This is a fallacy, we can and will change if our life depended on change. Young men and women, have not been taught the connection of time, habits, patterns and rituals.

For 400 + 50 years there has been a lesson of distraction and inhumanity of the intimacy between an African American man and woman. Capitalism without Afrocentric consciousness invites the slow death of Love between a man and woman. The communities cannot have one without the other. I have good friend who said ” for us to change, men… we have to un-learn what this environment, family and the world has taught us”. Take a minute moment to consider that a majority of African American ancestors in the dark days were not brought together by intimacy; it was by commerce. Think about that when you have the necessary skills and knowledge to give love and receive love. The probability of love and success depends on different variables and inputs throughout your life.

When you know who you are and what you are, it becomes innate to know what you want. Furthermore, you know exactly what you need. For too long another “culture” has told us want we need and have many blind to what they want. An example of this is the idea that women should pay on a date. I observe several brothers and sisters chiming in on a social media conversation on this topic initiated by a European, Caucasian man talking to a majority Caucasian female audience. I chimed in stated, “I a am old school Alpha Black man. He is wrong”. If you see the lady of your dreams, if you can only afford Red Lobster or a high-end cuisine, if you are concerned about who is going to pay for lunch, she is not for you, quite frankly you may not be the right man for her. The meal in itself is of insignificance.

If the value of the date is predicated on where you go and who is paying, they are not the one. A date is and interview to gather etiquette, manners, intellectual and spiritual information. You want to know how this person acts in public, how they treat the restaurant staff, who they are and what you do or do not have in common. Aesthetically, you decided these are the eyes you want to communicate with. Now you have to use your God giving senses to decide if the person behind the eyes is who and what they are. A lunch or dinner date is a small investment to determine if this is the person I want to spend my time on earth with. Who pays for the date is irrelevant. The responsibility of the tab is not a problem with grown men. But, it might be a problem for a boy. What are the inputs that determine this?

The inputs are DNA, genetics, environment, education, finances, parents, life experiences, tragedy, achievement, crisis, joy, happiness, travel, mentors, teachers, coaches, religion, family, health and friendship. This collective when tied together neatly is a lifetime happiness with the power to withstand heartache. The dilemma is in a male dominated society some boys transition to manhood with an understanding how these variables influence our decisions. I was told long ago by Professor Willis Sheftall, at Morehouse College that life has costs and benefits. Every choice you make has a significant impact on you, your life and the community around you. We are in a critical time in history where who you select as your significant other will make you a better man or woman.

 

 

 

The Heroes & Kingz Gear

The mission is to empower, educate and create a new narrative. Our focus is physical, mental, spiritual and holistic health. We created merchandise that is a reflection of our philosophy and a podcast. You can support the podcast here: https://anchor.fm/heroes-and-kingz/support

Anything is possible, Live Free

To be a man of your word with Integrity is Priceless.

Why I get up at 4:00 am.
Why I don’t smoke or drink.
Why I drink water.
Why I am not scared.
Why I do not watch TV.
Why I do not Lie.
Why I look you straight in your eyes.
Why I Grind.
Why I create.
Why I do not accept excuses.
Why I do not stand in lines.
Why I read books.
Why I listen.
Why I sometimes do not sleep.
Why I am arrogant.
Why I am humble.
Why I block pain.
Why I meditate.
Why I trust no one but me.
Why you can not call me a boy.
Why you can not call me the n’word.
Hero and King.

Make a decision! Dr. Eric Thomas

Make a decision! Dr. Eric Thomas

 

My friends Sidney Champagne and Elijah Braddy sent me a text message to a special You Tube video. The video was called Make a Decision by Dr. Eric Thomas. All of us watch Dr. Eric Thomas, Jocko Wilinick ( spelling ) Gary V and Mel Robbins. We are not about excuses and all about action and do not make excuses. Each us of get up in the morning before the sunrise and just dream, hustle and grind to create a better life for our families. But,  individually we have plateaued and have been trying to figure out how we take our expertise and brands to the next level. As personal trainers and health coaches we make a difference in the lives of our clients, but realize we needed to make a difference in the communities from which we can.  So, we realize three Alphas, three positive minds are powerful than one. Thus, Heroes and Kingz’s was created. Today, was the first of many podcasts where we will change and question the narrative of African American men and women around the world.

 

Change the Narrative: Heroes and Kingz

Heroes and Kingz

 

About 30 years ago I applied to be a Deputy Sheriff in San Diego, California. I had passed all the physical, mental and intellectual tests. My decision to become a sheriff was not about a commitment to make a difference in my community.  Furthermore, it was not a decision to curtail crime in the streets. During this time I was working for the Dept. of Social Services as a supply clerk, in junior college and worked out everyday. I was not making a  lot of money, but me and my best friend had an apartment, cars, nice clothes and was living a the life of two heterosexual single men. After  going through the background checks, FBI background checks and references it was time to learn what the job entails. The preparation, I learned that you would have to do a few years working in the county jail before you would be working in a specific area.  I grew up around some guys who were into everything and my first thought was I was going to see half the guys I grew up with or know in the jail; no problem. My reputation in the streets was solid, so I had a fleeting thought that i could possibly change their mindset if I was put in the right situation as a sheriff. Two things happen that night would change my mindset and consciousness. First, there was another recruit who happened to be Caucasian and just left military. This other recruit and I where the top recruits in this class in all the tests. Second, the county jail prison bus just happened to pull-up in front of the courthouse/jail during our break from the 1 on 1 interviews. As the bus pulled up I remember the other recruit getting excited and voicing his anxiousness to get on the streets and “fight crime”. My first thought of him was if he was my partner he would get us both killed. But, as the bus parked and the Sheriffs and the inmates got off the bus, one thing was glaringly obvious. Every Sheriff was white and the 95% of the prisoners that got off the bus was either African American or Hispanic. The moment I had that visual I knew I could not be a Sheriff and at that moment I had to figure out how to keep Brothers off that bus. The next day I withdrew my application and I explained to my Mom why I could not be a Sheriff just for the money. To be in law enforcement is a special calling and I commend the good cops who have chose this profession. But, my knowledge of society and history told me there were too many Black men on that bus. Through my education, travel and life experience I now know why and the solutions are complicated. Over the years I have been helped and I have helped people as well. As I close in on my 55th  birthday I realize I can not change people, but I can attack the narrative. We have been called everything under the sun, but children of God. Thus, for me and my perception of reality and the standard and title I want brothers to aspire to is no less than a Hero and King. After 1000 years there is no other title that can be what we actually are but Heroes and Kingz. Unofficially, it began that night…Officially, it will begin Nov. 5th, 2017

 

I WILL-HERO

nounplural heroes; for 5 also heros.

1.

a person noted for courageous acts or nobility of character:

He became a local hero when he saved the drowning child.

2.

a person who, in the opinion of others, has special achievements, abilities, or personal qualities and is regarded as a role model or ideal:

My older sister is my hero. Entrepreneurs are our modern heroes.
AFRICAN AMERICAN FATHER- HERO

3.

the principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.

 

The Moral Compass

The Moral Compass

 

“A compass is a relatively simple instrument based on a simple concept. With its northward facing needle, it is a consistent and true indicator of physical direction. By placing “moral” in front of compass, we evoke a clear picture of mental processes that point a person in a particular direction in life. These processes are consistent and true indicators upon which personal belief and action can be based. The concept of morality is also relatively simple at its absolute core. It denotes conduct or duties based on what is right and wrong. Morality is considered to be the basis of character and is wrapped around ethics. But while both the concept of a moral compass and the definition of morality are simple and clear, the concept of what constitutes morality is not. One person’s moral compass may not point in the same direction as another’s as far as right and wrong conduct and belief are concerned”. (http://www.vision.org/visionmedia/ethics-and-morality-moral-compass/3574.)aspx

Skynet? Alexa?

Skynet? Alexa?

 

The Amazon Echo offers our first glimpse into artificial intelligence for your home.

“Your home is about to get a whole lot smarter. On Monday, Amazon announced its artificially intelligent bluetooth speaker—the Amazon Echo—is being made publicly available for purchase. The Echo was first unveiled in November 2014, but it was sold on an invitation-only basis until this week. The device is one of the first always-on, voice controlled intelligent home appliances that connects to the Internet and controls third-party services. It can answer trivia questions, tell you the weather, add items to a shopping list, and much more”. (http://www.popsci.com/amazon-echo-first-artificial-intelligence-youll-want-home)

You only get .01 second of Negativity with me

   You only get .01 second of Negativity with me

 

I have never code-switch but I have always been courteous and professional. I have a comprehension of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, Darwin’s theory of evolution; Malcolm X and a bible; I have no patience for disrespect or nonsense. The obstacle you face on your job, career and with some individuals main seem like on the surface an insult to your race and intellect, but on a deeper level it is insult to your humanity and common sense. Our ( my ) first instinct is to prepare for war, but life experiences tells me these battles are a waste of time and again this is where chess comes into play. Like chess, always put yourself in a position to make moves of growth and impact. This is done by getting into the habit of reading and researching. I am a book reader by nature, but I did a quick Google search of How to be better….” and fill in the blank and it gave me 2, 550,000,000 results in .32 seconds! The information is all around and often free, but you have to look for it and you cannot quit or let your self be denied. Moreover, do not waste your time in toxic places with toxic people it will just poison you and you will become toxic.

Don’t give up stay on the mission

Don’t give up, stay on the mission

stay-on-the-task

We have often settled for less, rather than challenge self. But, most of all we have not learn how to say NO. We can longer counter; we must be on the offense. We must dictate and defend right from wrong period.  What separates a man from animal? Don’t give up stay on the mission.

G.A.M.
G.A.M. Chronicles Book

For me this question poses the paradoxes in a so-called civilize society.  I say we are not civilizing, just more sophisticated and sometimes domesticated. It is not paradox of what women expect and want from men.  The expectations should be no different than what a man expects of himself. But, therein lies what must be renewed; young boys and men must expect and demand more from themselves. If we have boys with no dreams and aspirations, we cannot expect standards to manifest themselves when they become men. It is not going to happen with the social constants in place and by osmosis. For example, I was asked by a manager in my former organization “What was my commitment to the organization”? I told the manager whom I respected “I have no commitment to this or any other organization” and without hesitation I continued. “I am only committed to me and my family”. Furthermore, I told him this firm will do what they want to do with me or any other employee. However, I have a parachute and fear nothing. Don’t give up stay on the mission